Let the Adults Speak

Dear #Drumpf –

You don’t know shit from Shinola when it comes to most everything about anything. Luck and a good inheritance has been on your side for far too long, because it sure as shit hasn’t been looks, sweetie. So, here are a few tips for public speaking (my gift to you, muah!):

1. Get a grammar coach
2. Check out the book “30-Days to a more powerful vocabulary”
3. Stay the fuck on point, for GAWD’s sake
4. STOP snorting coke prior to your public appearances, or at the very least stop sniffling – I’d suggest Afrin, you’ll thank me later
5. If you really are a billionaire, could you PLEASE buy a suit that fits your fat ass? They do have custom tailoring options these days, you know.
6. Say after me, “Putin BAD”
7. Say after me, “Immigrants GOOD” – your mom was one, you #halfwit
8. Telling me repeatedly WHAT you will do #bigly, without telling me HOW, shows you haven’t really thought this through (it also shows me you really need to refer to items #1 and #2)
9. If you knew thing one about women, you would know that we can see through your bullshit lies a mile away….but then again, maybe that’s why you’re so afraid of us (you tiny fingered, shit gibbon, you!)
10. Work with a historian and learn some shit about the Middle East, the Ancient Schism of the Shia and Sunnis, or how arbitrary borders drawn during WWI to understand the full story of ISIL (if I can learn this shit as an every day citizen, why would elect a dimwit who can’t learn this shit, but claims he wants to be the leader of the free nation in which I reside?)
11. Better yet, just STFU and let the adults speak

Hugs and kisses,