Could Italy and India be Similar? Let’s analyze….

My time spent in Italy has been lovely.  But, just to clarify for everyone, I am not on an “Eat. Pray. Love.” trip.  I have been asked this question several times, and while the adventure has been good for the soul, you can zip it now (I ask while displaying a shit-eating grin on my face)

  1. I don’t have the time or the resources to be gone for a year
  2. The only country that is the same as one from the book is Italy, all of the rest are very different
  3. I have been eating, praying and loving every minute of the journey and don’t feel the need to separate the three.

I can multitask quite well, thank you.  And since we are on the subject of multitasking, I decided that I have already seen India by going to Italy.  Let me splain……because Rome was summarized eloquently by an Indian woman (who now lives in Canada) I met, “Rome is pretty much the same as India with less people.”  I have found a few pieces of evidence that may support her claim.

I am currently on a plane to Berlin, then making a connection to Munich, where I will catch a train, a subway, and theeeennn a tram to visit my brother this week – as he is visiting for work.  Since I am over my quota to ask him for random information, instead of Google, I had to figure out how to get to the hotel all by myself (like a big kid now – it sucks ARSE!).  Sitting two rows in front of me are a couple of the most obnoxious, loud, whiny, bratty children I have ever seen and they are, of course, Italian.  This is evident when one of the brothers screams at the other one, during the entire flight, in Italian, and then their mom yells at both of them, in Italian.  They behave worse than Geoffrey – in fact, Geoffrey may be a perfect angel compared to how these two then proceed to rip each other and the plane apart for the next two hours (have you Googled who Geoffrey is yet?).  Italians are loud by nature – same as India – my new friend pointed out.  My concern about visiting there someday was doubled when she said “Yes, we are very loud, just like the people in Rome. Only multiply the number of people here by at least 20, and then you have an idea of how loud India is.”  Considering how sensitive I am to excess noise, eg I get reeeealllly pissy about it, I may need to eliminate India from my bucket list.

Example number two would be a lack of attention to detail.  Especially in Rome, Italians do not care if things are not clean, including themselves.  When it comes to the ability to comb their hair, brush their teeth, sweep up the floor, or wash their hands after using the restroom (with the exception of food, I have seen all the chefs/servers wash their hands thank GAWD!) you can bet that it probably won’t happen if they have more pressing matters to attend to, like pickpocketing someone on the subway.  (Although, I must give Italians the benefit of the doubt because this seems to be problematic for Europe as a whole.)  Granted the fact, there are many countries who are going to default on their debts soon (regardless of the bullshit they are touting in the media, the locals have said differently), so why spend money on things like half-assed street sweeping, or cleaning the gum off the floor in the subway (how hard is it to put that shit in the trash can people?!), but then why do they leave drinking fountains running 24/7 along the streets?  Some of the cutbacks I agree with, but then there are some that just leave you scratching your head.

Finally, the bathrooms. Thank GAWD I haven’t found many like this, but I did enter a couple of WC’s in Rome that were literally just a hole in the floor with markers of where to place your feet to squat.  They smelled worse than an outhouse coming from four blocks away – what did you have to eat dude?!  And they think you are going to pay to use one of these facilities!  Um, HELL no – I would rather pee myself than do that.  Even so, I would probably still smell better than the cheeziest of Italian men.

Don’t let the “clean” floor fool you. There is pee all over that floor!

I wonder if this is why you become a religious fanatic in Italy, or in India, is really just to get away from all of the noise??  All I know is that I cannot wait for this plane to land because I ready to go duct tape the kids’ mouths shut as I exclaim “May Peace Be With You” so that we all can get some quiet time.


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