Statue of David

I was a good little bunny and booked my tickets in advance to see the Statue of David, which happens to be today.  I am glad that I made reservations, because the line to get in is now two hours long, just to see ONE statue.  However, he is quite massive, exquisite, and grandiose, yet subtle and humble at the same time.  Michelangelo completed the Statue of David in 1504, originally sculpted out of an old piece of marble just lying around the Piazza del Vecchio (there is a fake one in its place standing in the plaza today).  In 2003, they did some restoration work on him and he looks just dashing for being over 500-years old!  I thought it odd that they highlight the security system used to alert the staff should he go missing – the dude is 516-cm tall – how is he going to leave the building without anyone noticing, really?…..

I think the guy standing next to me while I was gawking at Mr. David’s huge package summed it up best as he whispered to his wife, “Hon, now that we have seen him, I think that’s all there is, can we go now?”  He kind of had a point.  Besides the David, there really isn’t much, by way of artwork, that the Galleria Museum has to offer.  But, I paid 15-some euros to get in this joint, so I am going to hunt around and see what I can find – oh, and I snuck a picture anyway.  They say no photos (cuz there are naked people and just like strip clubs, you aren’t allowed to take pictures of the naked people) but I did anyway – 15-euros and no photo?!  I think not!  Ladies!….this is my gift to you……(although the picture doesn’t really do it justice….and they do keep it quite cold in the museum, I must say…)

I want you to know that scolded for taking this photo but was luckily interrupted from getting my ass kicked out of the museum when two tour guides at the opposite end of the gallery entered into a screaming match.  One of the guides was Italian, talking to her group with a medium pitch, while the other was American, TALKING REALLY LOUDLY, presumably because her group didn’t speak English.  The Italian guide made a loud, hissing sound three times “Shh, Shhh, Shhhh!”, to silence the other guide.  When she didn’t stop running her big Midwestern mouth (probably because she was from Minne-CRAP-olis and they think what they have to say is important there – the ice must have frozen their brains – none of us has anything important to say when it comes right down to it – it is all drivel), again the Italian guide hissed “Shh, Shhh, Shhhh!”.

No such luck, Segnora – I think the American guide was talking too loudly to hear the warning.  Not one to be ignored, the Italian woman went over the American and began SCREAMING at her in Italian, to which the American had no clue what she was saying, but yelled back at her anyway.  Listen, people, you just don’t get into a yelling match with an Italian – they invented Opera – I am pretty sure they are going to win a pissing match…..sure enough, the American conceded and herded her group to the next room so that she could YELL at them about the hundreds of sculptures on display by Lorenzo Bartolini.  They kind of looked like these two……

Whateva, whateva I do what I want!

Fortunately, I had seen them already (and they really were quite fabulous – he sculpted the one of Machiavelli and the Venus which was never commissioned you know), so I headed in the opposite direction towards the Musical Instrument Museum.  Some of you may not care about the musical instrument museum, but it was my 2^ndFavorite part of the museum (Dave the first, and I went back to see him 6 times before I actually left the premises – can you say stalker?).  I am currently taking a Music Appreciation class, so it really was interesting to see the instruments made during the musical era that I am currently studying – do any of you (besides the brilliantly genius AnDre) know what a hurdy-gurdy is?!  I had never seen one before, but Google it (or just ask my brother, he will know too, then tell me – I think I have worn out my quotient of stupid shit I can ask my brother who is 10 years younger than me for the month).

By the way – my “Madonna with Child” Strike is officially on hiatus – the Universe said so at the Galleria museum today.  Besides the Statue of David, the only other artwork there was to view was 30 frickin’ Madonna with Child paintings.  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph……