Feelin Fiiiinnne!

Thanks to Vogue and gay men everywhere, I didn’t wake up until 1pm today! It was so much fun to see people out last night dressed up to impress. I feel like a complete obvious American, as I don’t smoke and everyone here smokes. I keep thinking they will pick up on the fact that I am not from here, since I have no desire to smoke, yet they keep speaking to me in Spanish. When I tell them “no comprendo” they just speak louder (I guess everyone can be a “stupid American” at times). So far, I have only had one person come close to guessing my nationality and he thought I English. Otherwise, all of those hours working as an illegal alien are paying off! I have faked my way through most of our conversations, but I am almost certain to be found out soon!

After stumbling out to grab some lunch (I did pass on this place, however – just can’t quite envision how the two together could possibly be good),

I then ventured to the Museo de Prado and spent most of the day perusing the most amazing collection of art from all over the world. They had a special exhibit by over 30 different Renaissance painters featuring the art that emerged from Rome during the 17th century. Damn art….I had a moment in the museum when I stood completely in awe of the beauty and was so overwhelmed with gratitude for this little adventure I have taken myself on that I cried. Right. In. The. Middle. Of. The. Museum. It was a stunning moment for those of you who truly know me, I must admit.

I do stop to wonder, though, how can one place be so beautiful and so disgusting at the same time? You see as I was heading back to the hostal, I turned the corner and here was this giant poster advertising a gay sex club staring me down in the middle of the street.  I will warn you NOW to avert your eyes if you are of a sensitive nature!

Not shy about loving you long time in Madrid are they? Of course, the hookers aren’t shy about love you long time either. In fact, I must pause here to give those hos some major props – they actually dress up for work – what a concept. I think if you are working in the world’s oldest profession, then you – like every other business person – should dress professionally. Fortunately, the Madrid hos agree.

Then again, maybe it is just the culture here, though, because even the frogs like to get it on in the middle of the street. I have to say that they didn’t mention any of this in any of the tourist brochures being passed out in the Plaza del Sol yesterday.

Of course, I should have got some sort of clue when I stopped to look at what was posted on the building outside my hostal……


  1. Chris Vargo

    Hi! My name is Laura Riggs! I like to go on vacation to where the crazy sex people live because life should be an adventure. In the future, I will not make Chris Vargo claw his own eyes out with over-sized salad forks because I've so carelessly posted a picture of a poster of gay men. Not because he's a homophone (mind you) but because he just thinks that gay men in burqas are much more visually appealing than gay men in ass-less chaps…Who in the world advocated this trip…?

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