Our New Neighbor

(although if you have a better name, please submit your requests via the comment box below).  He is friendly and has many tools/gadgets that he lets me borrow when I forget where I have put the mop bucket or, sometimes, my hubcaps.  Charlie is also a very hard worker, but he is getting on in years.  Sometimes he just has to stop for a minute to rest before he can finish his daily task of drinking a 40.  Poor Al here was in the middle of trying to introduce himself when Charlie just fell asleep in the middle of their conversation.  Good thing that there was the occasional couch on the side of the road.  Otherwise, the poor man would have had to “nap” on the sidewalk! (That’s Southern for passing the F**K out, y’all!)

I also wanted to address some feedback I received recently that while you enjoy hearing about the other placed I have been travelling, the stories from JAX are the best……Stop Whining…Kidding!  You will be happy to know that my mom took some great notes while I in Costa Rica, so that we didn’t miss out on the good stuff.

A few days after I had left, a man knocked on the door, so my mom went to answer it.  He says, “I live across the street, (I presume at the cat factory – same place Rick James’ Bitch lives – they sure do have  a creative sales team I tell you) and we are raising money for our church.”  He was holding two boxes of Frosted Flakes.  So, my mom replies, “We don’t eat that”.  He was shocked.  He said, “you don’t eat Frosted Flakes?”.  “No”, my mom replies.  I am thinking, who would think to try and sell Frosted Flakes door to door to raise money for a church???

And how old are those Frosted Flakes and where did they even come from??!!!

That weekend my mom and her husband went for a bike ride.  When they got back, they were hot and thirsty…..remember, it is hot here – high 80’s – low 90’s…..30-50% humidity.  Anyway, they thought a Mike’s Hard Lemonade sounded good, but alas, they had none in the fridge.  So they walked down to the corner liquor store.  (Yes, with shoes on, I made to ask her that!!!!)

There was a guy in there on his power scooter getting who knows what – anyway, when my mom turned around, he was standing up —–  with his pants around his knees with his draars hanging out. Tighty whities – but they weren’t so tight.  Told the owner that he has lost a lot of weight.  He was quoting Dean Martin “It was a woman who drove me to drink, come to think of it I never did hang around to thank her for that”. My mom could hardly control herself until they got outside.  Her first comment?  “Oh man, where is Laura with her camera?!?!?!”

Just another day in da ‘hood!!!  It seems like there is so much to keep you all apprised of and yet I cannot bombard you with daily posts of the stupid things people do down here, but I will be a bit more timely with my news in the future.

I seem to be getting a reputation…